It all just hurts right now.
Anyone who has been around me knows there is something up.
Patience is near non-existent. Anger and frustration are through the roof. I'm at an utter and complete loss as to how to make it better, feel better, get better, or even just feel good for a few moments.
There's just so much going on right now that I can't even begin to put words to it all.
I'm feeling cut off and isolated from everyone and everything. Feeling utterly alone. Some people who I talk to on occasion give advice but none of it helps. I know they mean well, but truly, most people just plainly do not get it.
They don't understand the huge disconnect that happens between you and rest of humanity when you're violated to the very core of soul. They can't see the huge crevasse that opens when people you're supposed to have the deepest bonds of trust with leave you hurt and violated and wounded.
So now I'm supposed to connect with people.... people who are beyond that deep trust and intimacy barrier... but the people inside that barrier are untrustworthy.... So now I'm supposed to trust those that are out there... Yeah.... even that description won't assist those who haven't a clue.
It hurts, and unless the shoe's you're wearing came from the same manufacturer as mine, you can't ever possibly begin to truly understand the nuances and intricacies of everything that goes into the insanity roiling inside me right now.
So what to do? Where to go from here?
If you figure it out, let me know.